whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

posted 12 hours ago with 127,731 notes , via - reblog

robdelaney:

theadventuresofmichaelpawlak

the elegance of this joke is really, really up my alley. 

posted 12 hours ago with 197,893 notes , via , source - reblog

nateswinehart:

Being good to each other is so important, guys.

posted 12 hours ago with 182,070 notes , via , source - reblog

HOW WAS SPY KIDS 3 A MOVIE

dilapidatedragamuffin:

Can we talk about Spy Kids 3 for a second because it’s just the MOST BAFFLING CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE EVER

First we open to LITTLE BABY SELENA GOMEZ

image

THE PRESIDENT IS GEORGE CLOONEY?

image

Later we see Juni’s grandpa who is KHAN??

image

who spends the whole movie…

razorshapes:

Roberto Ferri

Stick It (2006)

Gymnastics tells you no. All day long. It mocks you over and over again. Telling you you’re an idiot. That you’re crazy. If you like running full-speed towards a stationary object, vault’s for you. If you like pealing pieces of skin the size of quarters of your hands… bars is for you. Because the only thing more fun then rips, is when your rips get rips. It’s super sexy. And floor, are you serious, I mean who doesn’t want to parade around in a leotard getting wedgies and doing dorky choreography? It’s delicious. If you like falling, then gymnastics is thee sport for you! You get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees, and your pride! It’s a good thing I didn’t like falling… I LOVED IT!

posted 2 days ago with 9,020 notes , via , source - reblog

datassium:

THROWING UP BECAUSE THIS IS REAL

posted 2 days ago with 26,209 notes , via , source - reblog

heartofalifer:

the comeback is better than the joke itself

posted 2 days ago with 81,886 notes , via , source - reblog
Title: UnknownThere's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet
Artist: UnknownPanic! At the Disco
Album: UnknownA Fever You Can't Sweat Out
Played: 148833 times

radtracks:

there’s a good reason these tables are numbered honey, you just haven’t thought of it yet // panic! at the disco

i’m the new cancer, never looked better, you can’t stand it
because you say so under your breath
you’re reading lips, “when did he get all confident?”

posted 2 days ago with 33,827 notes , via , source - reblog

saywhatjessie:

rexuality:

a person complaining about puns basically invites every pun enthusiast in the vicinity to come snapping rhythmically from the shadows 

posted 2 days ago with 57,111 notes , via , source - reblog

itseasytoremember:

nihtendo:

i want a video of all the tries it took to make this

i want a video of the second right after this shot was taken

posted 2 days ago with 231,897 notes , via - reblog

theshoutingendoflife:

jaclcfrost:

standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like “look at this fucking flower. this flower is taller than i am. this flower is winning and i’m losing”

Wow you are not ready to hear about trees.

posted 2 days ago with 79,301 notes , via , source - reblog

andythelemon:

Anxiety & unwanted thoughts are absolutely horrible to deal with, but I’m determined to beat them eventually. This is how I envision them - I suppose venting through drawing is one of my ways of coping with it.

posted 2 days ago with 4,499 notes , via , source - reblog

Three simple rules in life. 1. If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it. 2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no. 3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place. —(via wild-spirit)

posted 2 days ago with 13,763 notes , via , source - reblog
#reminder

redtemplo:

micdotcom:

India replaces the Ice Bucket Challenge with the much more sustainable Rice Bucket Challenge 

After seeing the dramatic results from the Ice Bucket Challenge, Indian journalist Manju Latha Kalanidhi was compelled to start something similar, but with an Indian slant. “I felt like doing something more locally tangible. Rice is a staple here,” Kalanidhi told CNN. “We eat it every day, we can store it for months. Why not donate rice to someone who is hungry?”

It’s fairly simpleFollow micdotcom

Go off x1000000

posted 2 days ago with 72,245 notes , via , source - reblog
Credit